Create the space for dialogue
This week I have been reflecting on what it takes to be present.
One of the four cornerstones of my collaborative standards is the protocol, 聽 Ting . This is simply the traditional Chinese character ‘聽 ting’ for listening. The different parts of the character help us think about body language, undivided attention, and purposefully listening.
Coaching is unique because no two coaching conversations are ever the same. Each individual brings their unique perspective to the table.
This makes coaching so interesting – every interaction is an opportunity for learning and growth. Each person has their own story, which shapes how they view the world. Their perspective is their truth.
As a coach, it is essential to be aware of these differences and find a way to balance structure with flexibility, process with responsiveness. In this week’s issue, we explore some of the dialogic nuances together.
It is worth noting, dear reader, this is an exploration in real-time. I will reflect and let my curiosity guide me, and my writing will lead me to clarity.
Part of me has consistently pushed back against too much process and structure in coaching dialogue. This might come as a surprise to those who know me or have experienced facilitation with me. But facilitation is different in that it is bound by limited time and resourcing.
When there is scarcity, we need more constraint, which you might see as a contradiction, but every second needs to be designed when every second counts. Coaching dialogue at best is a co-created experience over an extended timeframe.
There are days when I feel like I need more space to be with my coaching client’s story. To hear them out, explore their experience and help them find meaning in what they are saying.
I need to bring more structure and focus to the conversation on other days. To explore specific topics, set goals and create action plans. In some coaching moments, structure interjects delicately via a phrase that corrals a fleeting set of swirling ideas.
It can be a delicate balance, but it is worth paying attention to. As coaches, we need to be aware of our style and approach and the needs of our clients. Find a way to balance structure with flexibility, process with responsiveness. Only then can we find what each coaching conversation needs.
I strive to value every individual’s story. I might explore the same ideas or topics from one coaching conversation to the next. We might discuss the challenges of leading a team, building consensus or developing a strategy. But the person opposite me comes to those ideas very differently. Their path to this moment is always going to be unique.
I can’t assume that I know their perspective. I can only explore it with them by asking questions, listening deeply and being curious about their experience. Only then can I hope to understand their truth. And in doing so, help them find clarity and meaning in their own story.
It is their perspective, and it is their truth. In coaching, we might explore different versions of the truth, but ultimately it is up to the individual to decide what they believe.
As coaches, we need to be aware of our biases and assumptions. We all have them, and they will show up in our coaching conversations. The best we can do is be mindful of them and hold space for different perspectives.
When we are curious about our coaching clients’ experiences, we can learn so much. It is only then that we can truly understand their unique perspective.
It is a privilege to be part of someone’s journey, and I take that responsibility very seriously.
We explored the value of slowing down during some recent team leadership coaching. The pace and demands on all school staff at the moment is very high.
Coaching sessions can benefit from working at a pace appropriate to reflective thinking and perspective-shifting.
As I was inviting the school leaders to change gears, I heard myself explain what a more considered pace might offer:
We slow down
These are all worthy goals. When we operate with too much haste, it is hard to see anything clearly. Our thoughts and reactions become automated, and we can lose touch with our intuition. We might also lose sight of the people around us.
When we slow down, we have a chance to connect with what is happening in the moment. To be present. To see and feel the world more fully.
Let’s turn some of this into some next steps and clear-talking points for further dialogue and reflection:
Complement this issue with additional thoughts from the blog:
How to Build Better Relationships ⟶
A Coaches Guide To Action Planning That Works ⟶
Upgrade Your Mirror: The Power of Reflexive Thinking ⟶
Counter Wooden-Headedness and Break Your Echo Chambers ⟶
Create the Ideal Conditions for Coaching and Professional Growth ⟶
Thanks for taking a moment to join me this week – drop me an email at tom@dialogiclearning.com to connect and say hi. Or you can connect with me on Twitter > @tombarrett.
Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is a model of positive change that asks questions about what is going “right” instead of what is going “wrong”.
Appreciative Inquiry was developed in the mid-1980s by David Cooperrider at Case Western Reserve University, and Suresh Srivastva, professor emeritus of Organisational Behaviour at Weatherhead School of Management.
They saw an opportunity to approach challenges in business organisations differently, and AI has since been applied to social, business, education, government and other settings.
A typical Appreciative Inquiry design (called the 4D cycle of Appreciative Inquiry) would have four stages.
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The diagram above is from this excellent post about Appreciative Inquiry by Cathy Sharp, Belinda Dewar and Karen Barrie.
Appreciative Inquiry focuses on what an organisation desires most in the future — its possibilities for excellence—in contrast with concentrating attention on past problems or difficulties.
Collaboratively identifying valued aspects of current reality transforms the present situation and shared meaning about past practices.
The process encourages participants to dialogue around shared aspirations rather than debate over differences and conflicts; it thus lays the groundwork for constructive action rather than unproductive argumentation.There is no single AI method. AI is essentially a set of core principles that claim to change existing patterns of conversation and ways of relating, and give voice to new and diverse perspectives to expand what can be possible.
Ludema, Cooperrider and Barrett, 2001.
If you want to dig deeper into the core principles, I recommend the post linked above: Forming new futures through appreciative inquiry
A practical example of Appreciative Inquiry that I know you will find helpful, is the Caring Conversations framework. This was developed in a healthcare study from 2008 that explored compassionate care in an acute care setting for older people.
The emphasis of the study was to support the development of relational capacity – a critical component of our work in education too.
The CCF comprises 7 key attributes that guide people to have conversations that are courageous, connect people emotionally, foster curiosity, consider other perspectives, facilitate collaboration, compromise and celebrate what works well.
Caring Conversations (CC) is a flexible practice framework that applies Appreciative Inquiry. It supports practitioners in facilitating generative, appreciative, and relational capacities.
This includes the ‘7Cs’ – seven attributes to promote appreciative, caring conversations. The 7Cs model is a lovely tool for organising our talk, discussion and perhaps dialogue.
The self-reflective questions below were developed in the published study – ref: Table 5 p25.
People vector created by pch.vector - www.freepik.com
This article is part of an edited transcript of a great conversation with Jim Sill from Deploy Learning about facilitation and workshop leadership skills.
This section explores what it takes to create a workshop, training or meeting space where participants are heard and valued.
I share my approach to starting workshops and how I make the most of the first five to ten minutes.
Jim Sill ↘︎
When working with large groups, it can be challenging to create a space where individuals are heard and feel valued. Can you talk about your approach to that? How do we value the individuals in the room? How can we help them be heard?
Tom Barrett ↘︎
It starts with intentional design. Pay attention to the experience.
Yes, to content, for sure. Know what we are working on, but also recognise that everybody’s going to experience something together. So be intentional in the design of the experience.
Try to think through what the experience is going to be.
At the beginning of my face-to-face workshops, when I first started facilitating, I met people at the door as they came in, making sure that people in the first five or ten minutes were spoken to and were greeted with warmth and kindness.
I know that sounds obvious, but it’s easy to forget.
When your projector or display is not working, when you are trying to get that website running, you start to forget those things.
There’s been plenty of workshops where I’ve been in the middle of tech support, crunched over my laptop with a conference technician trying to get on the network, and people have started to come in. And I’ve just left it, and I’ve just gone and spoken to people because that’s what I’m there for.
One of the things I do to ensure that the workshop space is intentional is to set very clear protocols. Even in an hour session, I take five or ten minutes to talk about, ‘what are we here for?’ Let’s talk about that. Let’s be clear about that. If I need to do any sharing about agreed expectations, I would.
I also set a range of workshop protocols which are to do with participation and feedback. One of them, for example, is stepping up and stepping back. So I say at the beginning of the workshop:
“There’s an expectation on everybody today to step up and contribute. Today’s session involves your participation. You’re going to be part of it, but also notice the times when you need to step back. So step up and step back. Try to balance that.”
We need to communicate to workshop participants; these are the expectations to manage those expectations throughout the session then.
Invariably, when I take that five minutes to set protocols, there is a much higher likelihood of a successful workshop.
People might sit back too much, or they’re not going to participate in the intended way. And so, at the beginning of a meeting or workshop, talk about, “what are our protocols?”
We’ve all experienced this with generic staff meeting scenarios. We’ve got to switch our phones off— I’m talking specifically about how do we participate effectively? How do we contribute to this work? How do we cue our participants into what is expected of them so that they can be successful?
I might say things like:
“Today’s going to be a pretty creative session. So I was hoping you could tune into that part of your mindset, where we’re going to be quite creative. There’s a section later on where we’re going to be working on ideas together.”
I might even throw a follow-up question in there, “what might help us tune in to that type of participation?”
What I often say, Jim, is we take the time to talk about the talking. At the beginning of the workshop. Talk about the talking you’re going to do so that the expectations are clear in people’s minds.
In this post, I want to share some reflections about coaching and how we create the best possible conditions for professional growth.
Below I have shared nine different aspects of successful coaching that play a critical role. Many of these ideas also apply to quality learning experiences and might serve as powerful provocations to consider.
If you are after a planning guide to support your coaching programme – download a copy of my resource. All of the provocations and ideas in the post are included.
[joli-toc]
One of the downsides of the “roll out” of coaching or large scale implementations in schools and organisations are that it forces people to participate when they are not ready. When people make an active choice to participate, they signal they are ready for the challenge that coaching has to offer.
Our advocacy for coaching might mean we want everyone to have access to it. Which is entirely understandable; it can have a high impact. But, that does not mean it needs to be forced on anyone.
I imagine that many of you have had bad coaching experiences simply because it was something you had to do.
When you remove the choice, you also remove a fundamental aspect of self-awareness. This awareness is something everyone I coach has in common. Do you have similar reflections?
You reach a point where you want the challenge. The benefit from the accountability from coaching is clear.
Critically you choose to continue their professional learning, growth and development with coaching, nobody else.
Are you ready for the challenge of coaching? What dispositions signal you are ready?
In my opinion, coaching is different when it is short term. Long term commitment changes the dynamic of the experience. We work together to grapple with some of your most significant professional development challenges. This problem solving takes time.
Longer commitments also allow for trusting relationships to form and develop. I commit to you and your professional growth; you commit to coaching, the process and the regular sessions. We commit to the partnership needed for success.
An extension to the idea of commitment, contracting is all about establishing the appropriate expectations and what coaching means for us both. During my coaching, this is done in a few simple ways.
Below I have listed some examples:
In the first coaching session with me, we spend some time reflecting on a set of provocations I put to you in advance. One of the questions is, “What do you hope coaching will be?”. The most common response I have received is the hope that coaching ‘challenges me”.
Challenge is unique to everyone. You might be seeking an alternative perspective on the challenges you face in your leadership team. Or perhaps you want to increase your self-awareness to help you see your strengths and those traits that need your attention. The challenge might come from the mirror I hold up and the behaviours that I observe.
Whatever it is for you, coaching needs to be challenging. Yes, you want the safety of a trusting professional relationship. Of course, you want psychological safety to be able to share emerging ideas or perspectives. But you also will gain from an independent viewpoint and calm, honesty about your professional growth. You don’t need more platitudes about your success; you need supportive coaching to strive for your next step.
Sometimes that honesty can be uncomfortable and a little jarring, but you will know it is coming from a place of genuine support and commitment.
Download a copy of my planning guide to support your coaching programme. All of the provocations and ideas in the post are included.
New positive habits and behaviours are an essential outcome of coaching. We want to identify negative assumptions we are making, detrimental behaviours that we should reduce, and seek positive change. Consistency is key. Regular sessions that we both rely upon offer a safe and reliable structure to your professional growth.
I often look to regular one-hour coaching sessions every fortnight, which is an effective, consistent pattern for education clients. It allows enough time to apply the new ideas and mental models. Or to reflect and observe our regular daily practise as part of our coaching cycle.
It is not just about timing, though. We also rely upon the consistent expectations and the level of accountability that each coaching session has. I hold you to what you said you would act upon. Those small steps between each session are essential. That is, you get better, and they accumulate over six months or a year to significant change. We celebrate, debrief and explore those actions in a consistent way every session.
We both play a role in creating the right conditions for quality dialogue to flourish. It is not just my job, and it is not just yours. There is a collective responsibility to contribute to the conditions for professional growth and dialogue that supports you.
Collective responsibility means different things for different people. For some of us, it is about focus and being present. To ensure a coaching session is not interrupted or compromised by competing agendas. For others, it is about remaining open to the challenge of learning and hearing another perspective. We both play a role in creating the ideal conditions for coaching dialogue and collaboration.
I often think of it as creating a space for you to step into. Step out of your daily routine into a world that operates under different conditions, an environment intentionally tuned to your needs. A space that is safe yet challenges you. A space that is trusting yet honest and direct. A coaching space that holds you accountable but also provokes new thinking and generates inspiration.
Coaching creates the space to explore new cognitive tools. One of the main ways we do this is by focusing on a range of mental models and thinking structures during each session. These mental models provoke thinking and offer different perspectives to the challenges we explore together.
A key goal of my coaching is to help you develop your cognitive toolkit. I am equipping you with a more diverse set of mental models you can use to navigate your face challenges. At the end of each session, we stop and reflect on the mental models we have referenced or used together.
If we are in a coaching partnership, it is highly collaborative. We create something together. That “something” is new ideas, new thinking, perspectives, solutions and potential paths that support your professional growth.
That is an excellent question. I have some ideas already, but before I share them, what do you think?
I use an expectation that we are both ready to generate, share, and explore new ideas without judgment. When we lose track of where the ideas come from or start a train of thought, we know we are exploring in a dialogic way – a collaboration.
Ultimately everything contributes to the quality of dialogue that we share. [I also wanted to break the “everything starts with a C”] This is something I actively pursue when coaching. I strive to create the conditions where we share ideas, questions, thoughts and ponderings – where we make new meaning together through talk.
Dialogue aligns with creativity. Through our talk, we create new, original ideas that have value to your professional practice. When we are free to express ourselves in this way, we move away from analysing the problem or feeling isolated to resolve it, we collaborate and develop new ideas.
I coach teachers and school leaders across Australia. It is always a privilege to be a coach and a vital member of a professional support network.
If you are interested in finding out more about how I could support your professional growth with coaching, I have a few places available; please email me at tom@dialogiclearning.com.
To conclude this article on the Conditions for effective coaching, download my planning template and kickstart your programme design. Simply use the form below.
