This week I have been reflecting on what it takes to be present.
One of the four cornerstones of my collaborative standards is the protocol, 聽 Ting . This is simply the traditional Chinese character ‘聽 ting’ for listening. The different parts of the character help us think about body language, undivided attention, and purposefully listening.
At the beginning of meetings and workshops, I talk about expecting this from each other, along with the other cornerstones.
I often expand on the Ting protocol by discussing being present and focused. I want to share a few traps to watch for when you are communicating with others. Navigating these traps supports me in getting closer to offering undivided attention.
You prep your response
A common trap I see ensnaring people is how distracted they are by their idea prep. One person speaks to a provocation, and the other crew members tune in and then tune out – lost in what they might say in response.
You judge what people say too soon
Teachers do this as an instinctive move in support of young people when they speak in a whole class setting. The neutral, non-evaluative response is rare. Most of the time, it is nods and affirmations. This behaviour drifts into our adult talk too. The trap here is that judgement causes closure.
The reason non-judgment is used is because, left alone, the brain will automatically judge things as good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair, important or unimportant, urgent or non-urgent and so on. This happens so fast that our experiences are automatically colored right when we get to them, so mindfulness is about being aware of that and taking a fresh perspective. ~ Practiced Non-judgmentalism
You don’t give yourself some latitude
The final communication trap I want you to attend to is self-compassion. Please don’t fall for the trap that it is all or nothing and that distraction is death. When it comes to collaboration behaviours and being present, there are no absolutes.
I always say that being present is not about strictly creating a pure, hermetically sealed space for dialogue. Such a goal is unrealistic in schools and with the pressure on teachers and leaders.
I advocate for developing enough self-awareness to centre yourself again when you get distracted. In the dynamic world of teaching and school leadership, this capacity of re-centring counts.
Watch for the traps and commit to these actions:
- Accept where you are
- Practice undivided attention
- Invite your team to share what’s on their mind
- Check-in with yourself and what you need to be present
2nd Free AI in Education Webinar
I had lots of fun running the first free dialogue webinar on AI tools in education this week. We had over 200 join us live with about 500 registrations. If you were there thanks for the support!
The second session is live streamed on Monday, 27 February, at 7-8pm AEDT (Melbourne). Slightly later for WA colleagues to be able to join, sorry NZ!
Sign up using the form link below to get all the information.
⚡️ Join 100 educators already signed up! ⚡️
If you can’t make the time, signup anyway, and I will send a recording + resources.
⟶ Why Is It So Hard To Change? – Steve Schlafman
the old thinking is wrong. The models of change we have make the assertion that as long as we have motivating forces, the parts of ourselves that create resistance don’t matter; motivation by itself is enough. But we can’t fully move on if there are parts of ourselves we reject and repress. They will hold us back unless we accept them and agree to carry them lovingly with us.
⟶ Talking Less Will Get You More – Dan Lyons
For most of us, talking is like breathing. You don’t think about it; you just do it. But when you start paying attention to how you speak, this leads you to think about why you speak the way you do. You’re forcing yourself to become conscious of something that usually happens unconsciously. Now you’re doing the kind of work you might do with meditation or psychotherapy. You’re turning your attention inward. You’re engaging in self-reflection and self-examination. You’re figuring out who you are.
⟶ Why Am I Talking? – Tom Barrett
One of my favourite maxims and something I wrote down when I started Dialogic Learning is to “Listen twice as much as you talk.” One of the strengths of this and the Why Am I Talking? protocol is that it encourages us to carefully reflect on what we are sharing and think about our thinking. Any habits and protocols that encourage us to slow down a little are really valuable at improving the quality of our dialogue and discussion.
⟶ Artificial Intelligence (AI) Tools in Education – Free Webinar Replay
A huge thanks to Steve Brophy, Chantelle Love and Pip Cleaves for all their energy and support contributing to the first session.
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Thanks for reading, let me know what resonates.