In this second issue of our August throughline, we explore one side of the feedback dynamic, the giver of feedback. Let’s look closely at the feedback experience from the giver’s perspective.
In this second issue of our August throughline, we explore one side of the feedback dynamic, the giver of feedback.
Last week explored the seven basic components, and the giver of feedback was identified as the source of our feedback signal.
Let’s look closely at the feedback experience from the giver’s perspective.
Offer Feedback With Kindness
The gift of Ron Berger’s book An Ethic of Excellence was in the simple protocol for feedback:
- Be Kind
- Be Specific
- Be Helpful
I have been inspired by this feedback routine for over a decade and challenge everyone I work with to use it during every feedback experience.
Under the hood, though, why is this so effective? Why does this protocol sharpen our feedback-giving technique?
I think it relates to how kindness comes first, like a guiding light for the exchange.
Leading with kindness also relates to how clear and specific we are. In this way, Berger’s imperatives rely on each other.
Brené Brown challenges us in a similar way: clear is kind, unclear is unkind.
I saw the data about how most of us avoid clarity because we tell ourselves that we’re being kind when what we’re actually doing is being unkind and unfair. Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind.
Brené Brown
Listen to how these second-grade students use the kind, specific and helpful protocol to structure their feedback exchanges.
A range of studies into kindness reveal the broad uplifting impact on both sides of the feedback dynamic. Here are some other highlights:
- Kindness contributes to well-being for the recipient and the giver for adolescents (Cotney and Banerjee, 2017)
- Kindness can reduce anxiety and build a sense of connectedness (Kerr, A. O’Donovan & Pepping 2015)
- acts of kindness led to greater increases in psychological flourishing than self-focused and neutral behavior and that it promotes increases in positive emotions and decreases in negative emotions (Nelson, Layous & Cole 2016)
- A study in Vancouver in 2012 concluded that Performing kind acts improves peer acceptance and well-being for children (Layous et al., 2012).
The Internal and External Feedback Experience
The mental model I use to depict the feedback experience includes external and internal communication.
What is above the line, observable to both participants, and what is below the line, private to the feedback giver.
Here are some ideas and notes to consider for the giver of feedback.
Listening
- What do I choose to hear and pay attention to?
- How can we anchor to the precise critique?
Communication
- The precise critique I write or communicate
- What I say needs to be clear to be kind
Beliefs and Values
- Am I centred on my values and beliefs?
- How does my critique align with my beliefs?
Reflection and Processing
- Have I fully understood this?
- Am I clear about what I think?
Although this is a basic snapshot of the dynamic of feedback for the giver, some elements that overlap with the receiver of feedback.
We share values and beliefs, the relationship quality and a level of trust that underwrites feedback experiences too.
Research Snapshot
Before we finish today, let’s look at the science around feedback communication and leadership.
Along with being kind, specific and helpful, maybe there are some relatable insights here to help you become a more effective giver of feedback.
- [From Healthcare] create a receptive environment, focusing on behaviors, being specific, comparing to a standard of competency, being timely, ensuring an appropriate amount, and encouraging self directed learning (Lara 2016).
- [META analysis] provide specific and positive feedback, and using a mixture of verbal and nonverbal feedback (Kluger and Denisi, 2017).
- [From Medical education] establishing an appropriate interpersonal climate; using an appropriate location; establishing mutually agreed upon goals; eliciting the learner’s thoughts and feelings; reflecting on observed behaviors; being nonjudgmental; relating feedback to specific behaviors; offering the right amount of feedback; and offering suggestions for improvement. (Hewson and Little, 2017).
- [From Education] The best strategies for giving feedback include delivering it in an appropriate setting, focusing on performance and not the individual, being specific, basing it on direct observation or objective date, using neutral, non judgemental language, and identifying actions or plans for improvement. (S. Schartel, 2012).
- [From Online education] effective strategies for giving feedback in an online setting include prompt, frequent, personalized, detailed, clear, specific, and balanced. (Leibold and Schwarz, 2015).
Worth noting the repetition of the interpersonal environment, which can often be overlooked. This prompts us, as givers of feedback, to increase our awareness of the context, not just the technique.
⏭🎯 Your Next Steps
Commit to action and turn words into works
- Pay attention to creating the best possible interpersonal environment before giving feedback. Start with a question like: is this a good time to share some feedback?
- In your next opportunity to give feedback identify one element from the dynamic to intentionally practice. I find listening without judgement is something that always needs repetitions.
- Be kind, specific and helpful. Because if you are not being specific and clear, you are not being helpful or kind.
🗣💬 Your Talking Points
Lead a team dialogue with these provocations
- Do our feedback processes enable or limit precise critique?
- How might we surface the shared beliefs that underpin the efficacy of our feedback?
- How does the way we do feedback around here make us feel?